The notion that working women can and should be able to "have it all" and "do it all" has long been a topic of discussion in modern society. The media often portrays idyllic scenes of women effortlessly balancing their careers and family lives, painting a picture of the perfect working mother. However, the reality for many working mothers is far from this idealized image. Researchers like Kristen Shockley, Tammy Allen, and Allison Gabriel have begun to uncover the true experiences and challenges faced by working mothers through their data-driven studies (Shockley et al., 2017; Allen et al., 2015; Gabriel et al., 2020).
The Expectations vs. Reality Gap
The expectations placed on working mothers are often unrealistic and overwhelming. Society expects them to excel in their careers while simultaneously being perfect homemakers and caregivers (Hays, 1996). The pressure to fulfill multiple roles simultaneously, without adequate support, can lead to feelings of incompetence, overwhelm, and sadness (Liss et al., 2013). Working mothers constantly face opportunity costs and tradeoffs, struggling to find a balance between their professional and personal lives (Shockley et al., 2017).
The reality is that there simply aren't enough hours in a day to meet all the demands placed on working mothers. They are expected to be present and engaged at work, while also being available for their children's needs, managing household responsibilities, and maintaining relationships with their partners and extended family (Offer & Schneider, 2011). This constant juggling act can take a toll on their mental and physical well-being, leading to burnout and feelings of inadequacy (Allen et al., 2015).
The Root Cause: Lack of Structural and Societal Support
It is crucial to recognize that the challenges faced by working mothers are not a result of their individual inadequacies or lack of effort. The root cause of the problem lies in the lack of structural and societal support for families, especially those with both parents in the workforce (Slaughter, 2012). The current support systems in place are often insufficient and fail to address the unique needs of working mothers (Gabriel et al., 2020).
One of the primary issues is the lack of affordable and reliable childcare options. Many working mothers struggle to find quality childcare that aligns with their work schedules and fits within their budgets (Shockley et al., 2017). This can lead to significant stress and financial strain, as well as limited career opportunities and advancement (Correll et al., 2007).
Additionally, the workplace culture and policies often fail to accommodate the needs of working mothers. Inflexible work arrangements, limited parental leave, and a lack of understanding from employers can make it challenging for mothers to balance their work and family responsibilities (Allen et al., 2015). The pressure to prioritize work over family can lead to feelings of guilt and inadequacy, further exacerbating the challenges faced by working mothers (Liss et al., 2013).
The Need for Social and Instrumental Support
To address the challenges faced by working mothers, it is essential to provide both social and instrumental support (Gabriel et al., 2020). Social support involves creating a supportive network of family, friends, and colleagues who understand and empathize with the unique experiences of working mothers. This support system can offer emotional encouragement, practical advice, and a sense of community, helping working mothers feel less alone in their struggles (Shockley et al., 2017).
Instrumental support, on the other hand, involves tangible assistance and resources that can alleviate the burdens placed on working mothers. This can include access to affordable and reliable childcare, flexible work arrangements, paid parental leave, and family-friendly workplace policies (Allen et al., 2015). By providing these instrumental supports, society can create an environment that enables working mothers to thrive both professionally and personally (Slaughter, 2012).
The Role of Employers and Policymakers
Employers and policymakers have a crucial role to play in addressing the challenges faced by working mothers. Employers can implement family-friendly policies and practices, such as flexible work arrangements, paid parental leave, and on-site childcare facilities (Shockley et al., 2017). By creating a supportive and inclusive workplace culture, employers can attract and retain talented working mothers, benefiting both the individuals and the organization as a whole (Allen et al., 2015).
Policymakers, on the other hand, can enact legislation and policies that provide greater support for working families. This can include initiatives such as subsidized childcare, paid family leave, and tax credits for caregiving expenses (Slaughter, 2012). By recognizing the value and contributions of working mothers and investing in their well-being, policymakers can create a more equitable and prosperous society (Gabriel et al., 2020).
Shifting the Narrative
To truly support working mothers, we must shift the narrative around the expectations and responsibilities placed on them. Instead of perpetuating the myth of "having it all" and "doing it all," we need to acknowledge the challenges and limitations faced by working mothers (Slaughter, 2012). By recognizing the systemic barriers and lack of support, we can work towards creating a more compassionate and understanding society that values the contributions of working mothers (Gabriel et al., 2020).
This shift in narrative also involves challenging traditional gender roles and expectations. It is essential to recognize that the responsibilities of caregiving and household management should not fall solely on the shoulders of working mothers (Hays, 1996). Encouraging equal participation and support from partners, as well as promoting a more equitable division of labor within households, can help alleviate the burden on working mothers (Shockley et al., 2017).
The experience of working motherhood is far from the idyllic scenes often portrayed in the media. Working mothers face significant challenges and barriers in their attempts to balance their professional and personal lives. The root cause of these challenges lies not in the inadequacy of working mothers, but in the lack of structural and societal support for families (Slaughter, 2012).
To truly support working mothers, we must provide both social and instrumental support, including access to affordable childcare, flexible work arrangements, and family-friendly policies (Allen et al., 2015). Employers and policymakers have a crucial role to play in creating a supportive environment that enables working mothers to thrive (Gabriel et al., 2020).
By shifting the narrative, challenging traditional gender roles, and advocating for greater support, we can create a society that values and empowers working mothers. It is time to move beyond the myth of "having it all" and instead focus on creating a more equitable and compassionate world that recognizes the unique challenges and contributions of working mothers (Shockley et al., 2017).
References:
Allen, T. D., French, K. A., Dumani, S., & Shockley, K. M. (2015). Meta-analysis of work-family conflict mean differences: Does national context matter? Journal of Vocational Behavior, 90, 90-100.
Correll, S. J., Benard, S., & Paik, I. (2007). Getting a job: Is there a motherhood penalty? American Journal of Sociology, 112(5), 1297-1338.
Gabriel, A. S., Volpone, S. D., MacGowan, R. L., Butts, M. M., & Moran, C. M. (2020). When work and family blend together: Examining the daily experiences of breastfeeding mothers at work. Academy of Management Journal, 63(5), 1337-1369.
Hays, S. (1996). The cultural contradictions of motherhood. Yale University Press.
Liss, M., Schiffrin, H. H., & Rizzo, K. M. (2013). Maternal guilt and shame: The role of self-discrepancy and fear of negative evaluation. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 22(8), 1112-1119.
Offer, S., & Schneider, B. (2011). Revisiting the gender gap in time-use patterns: Multitasking and well-being among mothers and fathers in dual-earner families. American Sociological Review, 76(6), 809-833.
Shockley, K. M., Shen, W., DeNunzio, M. M., Arvan, M. L., & Knudsen, E. A. (2017). Disentangling the relationship between gender and work-family conflict: An integration of theoretical perspectives using meta-analytic methods. Journal of Applied Psychology, 102(12), 1601-1635.
Slaughter, A. M. (2012). Why women still can't have it all. The Atlantic, 310(1), 84-102.
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